Dear Renee Schwappe,

I need you to know I went back to your grandmas a few days later to tell you I made a big mistake. I tried a bunch of times for a couple months and called left notes but I could never talk to you after that. I really did try to see you. But the most important thing is Im very scared something bad happened like you hurt yourself. The reason why i say that is because the smart mouth kid said all the guys in your town would want to punch me in the face. The way he talked to me before I told him who I was most guys my age would have beat his little butt, I thank GOD im not like that...anyways I can tell everyone hates me for a reason...Im so so sorry for whatever I caused...At first I thought maybe you were dead and I cried all day. I really did try to tell you I made a mistake. I still cant believe I hurt an angel. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my life and Im standing beside myself knowing I hurt an angel. I always thought you would be mad at me but not like this. If you have truly hated me this whole time its worked everything down the toilet after that. I mean bad...I lost 50 to 60 pounds and almost died a few times over the last eight years..I have a bad circulation in my legs and my heart is going bad from stress and now its even worse because of finding out that you hate me forever...You would probably be glad to know my children hate me and I only have a few years left to live. thats fine with me because I hurt the most beautiful girl in the world. It doesnt matter but I have never forgotten about you and have always loved you...Ive been thinking about you every other day for the past ten years not knowing you hate me that much...Im so afraid you hurt yourself because of me and if you did I should be shot and brought back to life a thousand times...Oh man I cant believe I hurt an angel..Oh renee Im so so sorry for hurting you. I dont care what happens to me now..If you have suffered I have suffered also. My life has been total garbage and Ive been wondering what the hell Ive done to be tormented until Iam almost dead and now I know. Its because I hurt you, an angel...Oh renee Im so so sorry.. Ive just wanted to tell you Im sorry for a very long time and now I dont think I ever will get over the fact that I hurt you. There is a giant reason why. I cant go into to much detail but it was to protect you from a life that is like a crazy action psychological nightmare movie...If we were face to face I could tell you more but I cant here...but it sounds like I only caused a nightmare for you rather than sparring you from one....Oh Renee Im so so so sorry. You probably wont but it would be great if you could send me a note telling me what happened and if you are ok or not...Oh man I have missed you so much I have never forgotten about you. This is going to be the end of me I cant take anymore stress.. Im just trying to live four more years to see my daughter turn eighteen and after that I dont care anymore...I cant believe I hurt an angel....The sweetest most beautiful angel ever..

I have missed you for over twenty years. I dream about you all the time. Im so so sorry...........I STILL LOVE YOU

I'm so sorry for what happened yesterday. I'm just saying i felt really bad about sending that mean note to you, but i was really hurt and embarrassed when you told everyone i had no toys or clothes, as if i was a poor, sad hobo living on the streets. i'm sure you're really hurt when i sent that horrible email to you and i don't know what to do now. i feel like a terrible jerk. i don't want this to affect our friendship in any way, but if you don't want to forgive me it's up to you.
sincerely Angie :((

I'm so sorry for what happened yesterday. I'm just saying i felt really bad about sending that mean note to you, but i was really hurt and embarrassed when you told everyone i had no toys or clothes, as if i was a poor, sad hobo living on the streets. i'm sure you're really hurt when i sent that horrible email to you and i don't know what to do now. i feel like a terrible jerk. i don't want this to affect our friendship in any way, but if you don't want to forgive me it's up to you.
sincerely Angie :((

There are not words to describe how horrible I feel because of what I've done to you.
There is not a moment that goes by where I cringe in disgust for my behavior; there is no excuse. I have spent a great deal of time wishing in trembling fear to somehow see you in person so I would have an opportunity to beg for your forgiveness. I feel so bad, my heart aches in pain for what I've done, I've aged drastically and my health is failing and rightfully so. It's a small price to pay when compared to how I made you feel. Please have mercy on me!

The only advise I feel appropriate is to tell you do not live another minute thinking I was in any way shape or form accurate in anything I've said prior to now. You are an amazing woman. One of the most beautiful I've ever known. Anyone who keeps your company is blessed to know you as friend; a gift I will most assuredly not ever experience.

I am a liar, a robber of peoples joy and untrustworthy in the extreme. There is no good in me. The only type of person who could be capable of such demeanor is one who is obviously ill. Any and all aggression against me would be justified. There is nothing I could ever do to repay you and those around you. I am so sorry!

Sincerely
Robert Sellers

Peter, I am so sorry for everything. I know I acted like a complete bitch to u and I hope u can forgive me and take me back. U told me that I was hot and sexy and could do better than u, so I said that I changed my pics so u wouldnt think I was so hot n sexy. Then u freakf out over that, so I told u the truth. That I really look just like my pics. Then u didnt believe me and I know It was doing ur head. I never thought that I was too good for u. Honestly, u misunderstood what I was saying. I didnt mean u would never again have a woman as good looking as me. I meant one that loves u like I do and finds u so handsome and sexy. Please, my Peter, forgive me. I love u like Ive never loved a man. U turn me on so much, baby. Please be my man, again and take me as ur lady, once more.

i dont know if this is selfish, or selfless. All i know is that i worry about you everyday since you walked out the door. Seeing you drive away was like watching my hopes blow away to oblivion. after you left your sis came over i walk in to her with my bro, the pain i felt i couldnt fathom. i know that i may have been infatuated, but weren't you too? you said you wanted my babies i wanted that too. im not proud of what i did and i have changed. i wish to say sorry i wish to fill your house with flowers as i did before i wish to see you smile at me with your "mom" look. i wish to feel your soft skin against mine one last time....these are only wishes maybe even hope. i want to say sorry for being controlling i didnt mean it that way i just wanted you safe but i was the monster breaking your heart. if you cant stand me in the slightest; if i disgust you in the slightest; can you find it in your big heart to tell me you're alright tell me im alright. with love from every single thing that i have my amazon godess.

Sarah,
When I heard that I was killing you, I was greatly distressed. There are very few things I have ever killed; among them are: a turtle, a snake, my health, my self-esteem, my ego, and my chances of being employed at the Writing Center. However, to my knowledge I have never killed a person. I e-pologize for having killed you. My only hope (other than that I've already made it into your will) is that ghosts aren't real because I know you would haunt me for the rest of my life.

P.S. Is marrying a ghost still legal in Vegas?

I promised that I would not trap you by telling you the depth of my feelings for you. I can't do that any more. It is too much like lying and I can't lie to you. I love you and I can't keep it in any longer. I'm sorry for breaking my promise but you needed to know.

Please don't feel trapped. I wont try to change our relationship any more than I already have. Your friendship means too much to me to lose you over this.